When the kids won’t go to sleep – Bulls**t Evening

This evening was Bulls**t Evening.

You don’t know that that is?

Well, I’ll gladly enlighten you.

Today, I couldn’t wait for the hand on the clock to move.

It has been the longest day EVER.

General tiredness was amplified by this lingering head cold I have. Today was a day where I have been waiting for the evening to arrive since about 2 o’clock.

The evening – which is defined as me and my husband sitting down, putting up our feet, relaxing with a glass of wine and [insert anything that’s not child related] – can’t come fast enough.

Today is such a day.

I count down the hours until the kids’ bedtime. I need that evening so badly after a loooooong day that just drained the life out of me. (There were definitely some extra hours in this day).  And then this long-anticipated evening turns out to be a total let down because the kids aren’t playing ball. Hence, the name – Bulls**t Evening.

Baby woke at 4.30am and wouldn’t settle back to sleep. Gladly he was minded by my King of this Castle who stared out the window at the full moon with him. 5-year old and 3-year old woke up at around 6. One usually wakes the other. 5-year old wakes and habitually announces her waking by some sort of a whingy-whiney sound declaring her majesty has arisen and asserting her need for attention or assistance of some sort.

So the day started early. We got through it somehow. Finally the evening looms. I feel like I earned it. I earned sitting down, putting up my feet and switching off for an hour before hitting the hay. Everything is supposed to go smoothly, the kids go to bed on time and we don’t hear from them until the next morning.

It is nearly time to sit down and have some adult time, maybe watch a movie, enjoy some quiet time…….

But not today.


Because today is Bulls**t Evening.

The bullshit started during our bedtime routine. Today it was 5-year olds turn to pick the bedtime story. 3-year old doesn’t always get the concept of taking turns and defaulted to tantrum mode. I tried my usual approach of calm explaining. It doesn’t work. I am a little lost thinking today everything was meant to go smoothly. None of my tactics work this evening. He stands there screaming and crying. Un-phased on the outside, vaguely defeated on the inside, and frankly a little too tired to experiment with new parenting strategies, I read the story of choice to his sister. They were tucked in in the end. Some more reluctant than others. The lights went off.

Time to relax.

As if they had a sensor built into the couch which triggers an alarm in their bedroom the minute we sit down on it, 3-year old remembers that he didn’t get the story he wanted and starts crying, demanding his story all over again.

Mister effing Stubborn.

He went to sleep in the end after some firm words were spoken. Is it time to relax now? Oh no. Not when it’s Bullshit Evening.

Because next, Baby decides it was his turn to make his contribution to Bullshit Evening. Joint sibling effort. He woke up crying.

My husband and I are up and down the stairs like Yoyos taking turns (because sharing is caring) trying to settle him.

As I am standing there crouched over the cot, eagerly rubbing his little hand and his little hand clinging on to mine, I hope and pray that this will all pay off in the end and that when he is older he will repay me in the form of backrubs, chocolates and flowers.

Progressively, my spirits are fading. I am afraid to look at the clock. It must be nearly my bedtime. I am tired. I just really REALLY want to slump down onto the couch and have an hour to myself.

It’s half past 9.

My husband (best husband in the world, I am biased I know) relieves me of handholding duties. He can see my little red battery lights flashing and says “Let me settle him. You spend all day settling him.” (True story!) I sigh relief and hurry downstairs ready to relax.

Sitting here now, alone, with the movie on pause and a half-eaten bag of Minstrels next to me, feeling robbed of my me-time, I am thinking to myself “What a Bulls**t Evening”, take off my crown and go to bed.

And now, dear readers, you know what a Bulls**t Evening is.

It’s just a phase though, right?

I am on Facebook.

This post first appeared as part of the blogging I do for Meet Other Mums, who I am very proud to blog for as part of their blog squad! Please check out their site!

12 thoughts on “When the kids won’t go to sleep – Bulls**t Evening

  1. Eurgh I hate bullsh*t evenings and they always come when you least need them too. I am slightly pleased to hear that mine is not the only child who has to announce his waking with what can only be described as an air raid siren! Hope tonight has gone to plan and you are currently say with a large glass of vino in your hand #bigpinklink


    1. coming home everyone was shattered and fell asleep in the car. I thought they’d sleep. but this evenings is on trend to becoming bullshit evening. the vino is being drunk in small sips in between going up and down the stairs. thanks for commenting 🙂


  2. Oh gosh I hate Bullshit Evenings – they usually happen to us when we get cocky and one of us mentions to the other “14 month old A has been sleeping really well recently hasn’t he?” followed very soon after by said child wailing from his cot at 8.30pm not to be re-settled until 12.30am (this was the case the last time it happened)! And why is it that when one sleeps through, another decides to wake?! #bigpinklink


  3. Haha poor you! I don’t tend to expect any me time in the evenings as my bubba is a bit of a night owl, and my husband works evenings so tis just me! then I’m always pleasantly surprised if I do get him into bed early. I definitely have those days though where I think ah, he’s hardly napped, it will be a nice early night. I could phone someone! Eat ice cream without a baby on my lap! But, no; he has other ideas. Hope you don’t have too many more bullshit evenings! #chucklemums


  4. Oh god. I hear you so loud and clear! When you’ve had a day attending to their every demand and whim, the least they could do is go the f*ck to sleep at a suitably early hour. I always panic if bedtime drags on too long, because I go to bed so early myself, there’s always a danger of not having any chill-out time at all. When they are teenagers you can get your own back by harassing them all evening when they’re hanging out with their mates…?
    I hope the kids at least had the courtesy to sleep until an acceptable hour the next morning…


  5. Urg, we had loads of these! Finally, (not just touching wood but frantically banging the table next to me!), things seem to have settled down and we only get bullsh*t evenings if on or the other is genuinely poorly. I’m sorry your evening was ruined and I really hope that you got to at least watch the end of the film. Thanks for linking up! #bigpinklink


  6. Those sorts of evenings always arrive after a long day when you are dying for a chill out in the evening. Then it all goes wrong, patience is drained & you are left even more annoyed. I gave up with my third born & choosing stories. She gets to pick one of her “baby” books & my two boys take turns picking so it’s two books per night most nights. I skim her book though being honest lol it just keeps the peace if I’m burnt out. Thank you for sharing with #bloggerclubuk x


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