This evening was Bulls**t Evening.
You don’t know that that is?
Well, I’ll gladly enlighten you.
Today, I couldn’t wait for the hand on the clock to move.
It has been the longest day EVER.
General tiredness was amplified by this lingering head cold I have. Today was a day where I have been waiting for the evening to arrive since about 2 o’clock.
The evening – which is defined as me and my husband sitting down, putting up our feet, relaxing with a glass of wine and [insert anything that’s not child related] – can’t come fast enough.
Today is such a day.
I count down the hours until the kids’ bedtime. I need that evening so badly after a loooooong day that just drained the life out of me. (There were definitely some extra hours in this day). And then this long-anticipated evening turns out to be a total let down because the kids aren’t playing ball. Hence, the name – Bulls**t Evening.
Baby woke at 4.30am and wouldn’t settle back to sleep. Gladly he was minded by my King of this Castle who stared out the window at the full moon with him. 5-year old and 3-year old woke up at around 6. One usually wakes the other. 5-year old wakes and habitually announces her waking by some sort of a whingy-whiney sound declaring her majesty has arisen and asserting her need for attention or assistance of some sort.
So the day started early. We got through it somehow. Finally the evening looms. I feel like I earned it. I earned sitting down, putting up my feet and switching off for an hour before hitting the hay. Everything is supposed to go smoothly, the kids go to bed on time and we don’t hear from them until the next morning.
It is nearly time to sit down and have some adult time, maybe watch a movie, enjoy some quiet time…….
But not today.
Because today is Bulls**t Evening.
The bullshit started during our bedtime routine. Today it was 5-year olds turn to pick the bedtime story. 3-year old doesn’t always get the concept of taking turns and defaulted to tantrum mode. I tried my usual approach of calm explaining. It doesn’t work. I am a little lost thinking today everything was meant to go smoothly. None of my tactics work this evening. He stands there screaming and crying. Un-phased on the outside, vaguely defeated on the inside, and frankly a little too tired to experiment with new parenting strategies, I read the story of choice to his sister. They were tucked in in the end. Some more reluctant than others. The lights went off.
Time to relax.
As if they had a sensor built into the couch which triggers an alarm in their bedroom the minute we sit down on it, 3-year old remembers that he didn’t get the story he wanted and starts crying, demanding his story all over again.
Mister effing Stubborn.
He went to sleep in the end after some firm words were spoken. Is it time to relax now? Oh no. Not when it’s Bullshit Evening.
Because next, Baby decides it was his turn to make his contribution to Bullshit Evening. Joint sibling effort. He woke up crying.
My husband and I are up and down the stairs like Yoyos taking turns (because sharing is caring) trying to settle him.
As I am standing there crouched over the cot, eagerly rubbing his little hand and his little hand clinging on to mine, I hope and pray that this will all pay off in the end and that when he is older he will repay me in the form of backrubs, chocolates and flowers.
Progressively, my spirits are fading. I am afraid to look at the clock. It must be nearly my bedtime. I am tired. I just really REALLY want to slump down onto the couch and have an hour to myself.
It’s half past 9.
My husband (best husband in the world, I am biased I know) relieves me of handholding duties. He can see my little red battery lights flashing and says “Let me settle him. You spend all day settling him.” (True story!) I sigh relief and hurry downstairs ready to relax.
Sitting here now, alone, with the movie on pause and a half-eaten bag of Minstrels next to me, feeling robbed of my me-time, I am thinking to myself “What a Bulls**t Evening”, take off my crown and go to bed.
And now, dear readers, you know what a Bulls**t Evening is.
It’s just a phase though, right?
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