Good Parents have bad days

This post for all mums and dads. This is for all those who are fearless and have the audacity to be honest. With themselves. With their peers. With everyone around them.  Us parents are terrible in the sense that we are constantly trying to outdo each other and be better than the person next to us. And yes, I am looking at you, in particular, perfect Facebook mum, and your tireless efforts to convince us all that you and your kids are perfect. Flawless. Textbook. Meanwhile, there are days where you are losing it, one marble at a time, like the rest of us. I for one aren’t buying it. Relax with the competitiveness and the showing off.

Good parents have bad days.

No Shit.

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Noone is perfect. Instead of outdoing each other and making this into a competition, we should support and reach out to each other. We should be each others sounding boards.  The only ones our parenting affects are our children. They will be the judge some day of whether we did a good job or not. (If they are still talking to us, that is) They will be the end result. 10 years of parenting and some strong friendships with fellow Mama Warriors, who don’t judge or criticize, have taught me that it is ok to have a bad day. And it’s ok to admit that sometimes the kids wear you out or annoy the shit out of you. It’s okay to have days where we reach our limits and where we go against everything in the parenting book of “How to be the perfect Parent”. Where perhaps we don’t give 100% because we just can’t.

I’ll tell you 10 little secrets. (Shhhhhhh)

  1. On a bad day I may not have the energy or the time to whip up a healthy, organic, wholesome, free-range, nutricious, yada yada meal. I might have been up several times the night before. I might be tired. On a bad day I make Fishfingers for my kids. “Served with what?” I hear you ask. With Ketchup. Fishfingers and Ketchup. And they love it. They’ll get their veggies another day.
  2. Speaking of veggies. I am not obsessed with trying to get vegetables into my kids. I believe the human body will crave what it needs, and will, therefore, take what it needs. We have a very balanced and healthy diet. Just not today. My kids will grow up to be strong and healthy having Fishfingers with Ketchup today and a wholesome vegetable lasagna tomorrow with all the healthy trimmings. I am not going to lose sleep if they haven’t eaten carrots for one day.
  3. On a bad day, I leave the room when my children have a shit attack. Yes, on a bad day I don’t call it tantrum. I call it shit attack. I leave the room for fear that I might also end up on the floor kicking and screaming. It’s called ‘tactical retreat’.
  4. On a bad day I use sweets as bribes to get them to do what I need them to do. When I am tired or simply run out of patience, I use sweets to pretty much get them to do anything. Let’s go to school. Here is a sweet. Tidy up your toys. Here is a sweet….. You get the concept.
  5. On a bad day when I am running out of answers and patience, I say “Because I said so” and “That’s why.”
  6. On a bad day, when my kids manage to press all my buttons, I shout at them. I shout at them because I am probably repeating myself for the 46th time, because they aren’t listening and I feel helpless. On a bad day this drives me demented and I don’t have the patience to apply my quiet soft reasoning voice, address the kids at their level like you are supposed to and speak to them like they show you on “Supernanny”. Instead I shout and usually that gets their attention. (I also call this motivational speaking for the selective hearing)
  7. On a bad day I also use sarcasm with my kids. I know they don’t get it but it makes me feel grown up and like I am in charge. If they ask me “Are those my tights?” I might reply “Well, they are hardly mine!”
  8. I let my children watch television. That’s right. I see you, perfect Facebook mum, shaking your head and “ts ts ts”-ing me. There are some really cute cartoons and educational shows on TV, that offer the kids more than I can on a bad day. They give me a break or allow me to do some other work around the house and the kids have fun. You should check it out when you’re not too busy pretending to be perfect.
  9. On a bad day I spend too much time on my phone. Looking to find out what else is going on in the world outside of my own. While I do that I tune out while my kids bicker and fight. (It’s good for them to sort things out between themselves without my intervention for a change.)
  10. On a bad day I have been known to put my child into timeout and left them there longer than the recommended time because I got distracted and forgot about them. Oops.
  11. On a bad day I might feel isolated, defeated, tired, stressed, frustrated, vulnerable, emotionally and mentally naked and……….. sore

Screen Shot 2016-04-29 at 09.45.12.pngI could probably write a small pamphlet about parenting debaucheries I’ve ‘committed’ in some parents’ eyes. I am sure we all could.

Fortunately, not every day is a bad day.

Fortunately, bad days are far and few between.

Fortunately, that one bad day won’t ruin our kids and turn them into weirdos in years to come.

Fortunately, they won’t be emotionally scarred from sitting in timeout a little longer than they should have. Not eating carrots every single day won’t turn them into unhealthy eaters.

I love my children with every fiber in my body. They are my pride and joy, my heart and soul. Despite not being perfect all the time and having off days if they were to write a performance review for me, I would do pretty well in that. Full marks, I reckon. They are my Baby Bears and I am their Mama Bear. But even the best mother and even the best father sometimes has a bad day.

So don’t judge. Please.

Read here all the things I said I would never do for my kids.

I am on Facebook.

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49 thoughts on “Good Parents have bad days

  1. I LOVE this. With four children, three under three, I have bad days far more often than I would have liked, but I also know that if these are the worst days, then we aren’t doing THAT bad. There will be more good days as they grow, and I hope that the good days will be the ones that they remember when they are older! #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  2. aww this is so funny – fish fingers and …….. ketchup! brilliant. And shit attacks – inspired! Oh but lovely we have all been there and Facebook mums can go do one in my book – can not and never will bear those mums! Real mums cope with the crap and deal with it as best they can – you are doing grand – and it’s those that don’t admit that they are struggling that probably have more problems, sadly #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post so true and honest. Parenting is the toughest job in the world and we as parents(mums) need us time, its so important to remember to be you the person you were before kids… It is a rare thing in our house but so nice when you manage a night away or a few hrs on your own to recharge the batteries before heading back to be MOMMA BEAR.

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  4. This is so true. It’s not possible to be perfect 24/7. Surely it’s what we perceive as perfect anyway? We all do what we have do to cope! Lovely post and hopefully will help others realise it’s OKAY!! #bigpinklink

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  5. Yes yes yes! I’m with you 100%. It doesn’t help anyone to pretend that life with children is one big happy sing song. We’re all winging it as best we can and having bad days just makes the good days seem better. If every day was the same, they would just be days wouldn’t they?! Thanks for linking up! #bigpinklink

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  6. I am absolutely with you and guilty on all counts. Tonight’s tea… Fish Fingers and ketchup! Points 8 & 9 – so guilty I could be arrested! Love this post and “motivational speaking for the selective hearing” is my new favourite saying!
    Thanks for linking up with #FartGlitter x

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  7. So SO much love for this! Sometimes it feels like we’re not allowed to have anything less than a perfect day, or if I say “she’s doing my head in today” there’s always someone there to remind me that “you’re so lucky”. Yes, yes I am lucky. But Eden is learning and so am I, and that won’t be without bumps in the road. You’re doing a great job x #bloggerclubuk

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  8. this is a great post! Your honesty is so refreshing. I totally agree with you about the body craving what it needs. I am trying to trust that my daughter will eat vegetables when she needs them. I do feel lucky that my friends aren’t the competitive type, so we can be honest with each other. Parenting is so hard, and we could all do with supporting each other more.
    #familyfun

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  9. Love this – so very true. We all have bad days even if our social media feeds don’t reflect it. I have days like this when I shout and I go and hide somewhere for a moment because I’m about to completely lose the plot and have days when going through the drive through at McDonalds is the easier option (days when I can’t even be bothered to cook fish-fingers, lol!) A wonderfully honest post and I think every parent out there can relate. #FamilyFun

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  10. Oh yes I hear you there – there are many times I have felt judged by others when I’ve been out and about with my kids (autism is invisible) or even by friends who I thought ‘got it’ but actually really didn’t. It makes me so sad… Most of the time we have no idea what is going on in someone’s life or head space. Life would be so much nicer if we just supported one another. TY for linking up to #FamilyFun 🎉

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  11. Brilliant post – I’m nodding along all the way through. So true that some try to paint this perfect image of their family, when actually everyone has bad days and we need to be kind to ourselves on the tougher days. #thebabyformula

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  12. I dare say all those oh so perfect facebookers do all of this too, the difference is they lie about it! I really don’t think fish fingers, ketchup and TV is going to scar a child for life!
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
    Debbie

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  13. I love this. So honest and so true. I love the term shit attack which is pretty an accurate description. I too do most days and even walked out and let husband deal with it. We. Are all human and no one is perfect and Facebook is one facet. X #Familyfun

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  14. I love this post, so relatable! Show me someone who says they’ve never used food as bribery and I’ll show you a liar. Also, kids TV shows are great nowadays, my 2 year old can sign a lot of words thanks to Mr Tumble xx #fortheloveofblog

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  15. Ahh I love this. I fear I have more bad days than good at the moment and I still let my boy watch tv on a good day too so does that make that a bad day!? No, really a fabulous post with important messages about competition, comparison and allowing ourselves to be ourselves every now and again even if it means we’re the ones having a shit attack, not the children (LOVE shit attack by the way) #fortheloveofBLOG

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  16. I love this. So true. I once read something that said: ‘it’s not a competition. I hope we all get there’ and I think that we need more of this in the world. I love your list too. Mother feels bad when she sticks me in front of Baby TV just to get five minutes peace with a cup of tea. I think she feels she should be helping my development by reading to me or teaching me something constantly but the truth is that a lot of the time, she just can’t be ar*ed x #fortheloveofBLOG

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  17. I LOVE it!! I really LOVE it! Spot on every bit of it. Here’s to you Queen of my Castle!

    #fortheloveofBLOG

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  18. I love the sound of a “shit attack” that made me chuckle! Honestly love don’t feel bad, you have nothing to feel guilty about all. It’s part of the course of being a parent, that we will have bad days, although there is no course handbook on how to prevent them. It’s ok to put them in front of the TV, or give them a fishfinger, or just leave the room, or not give them vegetables. My 9 month old is frequently fed the odd chip when we eat out, just so I can have a moment of peace to have a conversation, I’m pretty sure that I can feel perfect Mum’s eyes glaring at me! I hope you don’t have another “shit attack” soon, I would be reaching for the wine if it was me. Thanks for joining out party at #fortheloveofBLOG, we hope you can join us again next week. Claire x

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  19. Lol, yes some days are ‘those’days. I love your fish fingers and ketchup! 😀it is true this they get so much fruit and veg somedays. Thanks for sharing #thebabyformula

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  20. This post makes me feel better about life. I have a lot of bad days, paired with many wonderful days. I think it is so true to be a support to parents and share the honest truth, there is no perfect parent. Or if their is a perfect mum she has a maid and takes Valium..#Familyfun

    Like

  21. Love this line: motivational speaking for the selective hearing. Have trouble with the wee ones listening too. Great post. Make us all feel, well human, in all its glorious imperfection! #FabFridayPost

    Like

  22. YEP! I think every parent has bad days. I dont believe anyone that says otherwise. Loved this post, found myself nodding along to all of your points.. xxx #FabFridayPost

    Like

  23. Oh man can I relate to this! Except everyday here is a bad day. No, really it is. Somedays I go to bed and wonder how on earth I got through it. I mean I love them, of course I do bit man do they know how to push my buttons. I was it was supposed to get easier as they got older lol

    #fabfridayposts

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    Do you’ve any? Kindly let me recognise so that I may subscribe.
    Thanks.

    Like

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