You seem to think I got pressured and arm-twisted into spending my time with small children.
It may shock you to know that all these little people that I call my own didn’t come as a surprise.
We actually made them ourselves. Awesome. I know, right?
My husband doesn’t lock me into the house each day. No ball and chain hanging off my foot. Seriously. I checked.
I hang out with these little people on purpose. Willingly. And most of the time I love it.
For you, you see a lot of kids and feel overwhelmed. You hear noise and feel annoyed. You get stressed on my behalf. You laugh nervously and uncomfortably and mutter something like “Just how do you manage?” with a sorry look in your eyes.
Don’t. Just don’t.
Because trust me. I’ve got this.
When I am around my little gang, I don’t feel annoyed or worried like you. Sometimes I do, I wont lie. Because [insert Rag’nBone Man ‘Human’ lyrics here]
But most of the time, I feel fulfilled, thankful and happy.
When I see my children I don’t just see a lot of kids or hear a lot of noise. I got mom ears for the record. Instead I see four wonderful individuals, all with their own wit and charm, all with their own personalities, opinions and anecdotes. They sure keep me busy, no doubt, but they are also precious. They make me laugh every day.
They give me reasons to love and in turn make me feel loved.
To them I am very special and they know they can never change my heart towards them.
They are my chosen ones.
They are worth every ounce of me.
Nothing in the world is worth what they have taught me. Nothing in the world is worth how my heart has grown to four times its size. Because of them I appreciate love.
Because of them I am unapologetic about the fierce love inside my heart that gives me strength on days when life throws me a curveball and insists that I grow more and be more.
Because of them, I can and I am able.
Because of them, I understand what it means to live for something more than just myself.
This decision to have them is the greatest joy of my life.
So instead of worrying about how I manage, how I cope and why I would want ‘all these children’ go project elsewhere and just assume that I am happy. I love them so much my heart breaks into a million pieces, because my love is fuller than I ever knew it could be. That’s what makes everything I am and do enough.
I may be exhausted but I am exhausted in an amazing way.