How to love another baby

Dear first time Mama,

You have been thinking about it. It has crossed your mind and you have mulled it over in your head.

Family planning cards are on the table.

You have contemplated baby #2.

But something is holding you back.

You are hesitant. Wondering when the time is right. Will it ever be right?

You are still lulled in the wonderment of first-time motherhood enjoying every moment with your child and lingering in every milestone, every hug and every kiss in amazement at this beautiful little human being that nature has given you. Because this little human being made you whole.  It gave you purpose.

It made you Mother.

It opened you up to an entire new level of life and a whole newfangled depth of love.

You love this little creature with a special kind of love. A love you never knew before. Words are failing you to describe it.

You fear that you won’t be able to love another child.  Not like this.

And you are right. You won’t.

First-borns are special. (Read my letter to my eldest son.)

They are the gatekeeper to the novelty of motherhood and parenthood.

When you became a mother you embarked on the most amazing journey of your life. You embarked on this virgin voyage and together with your baby you experience all the firsts.

The love you feel for this little soul is beyond explanation. It humbles you.

Watching yourself transform into Mother is life changing. You live and breathe motherhood and devote every waking hour to becoming the best mother you can be as you grow in love, understanding and compassion every day.

How does a second child fit into this picture? Perhaps you see a 2nd child as a distractor from your perfect first-born that will take half your motherly love from them.

How could you possible love another as much and in the same way?

I recall becoming a mum for the first time. Oh the excitement. The disbelief of nature’s miracle that was growing inside me. It was a big deal. I had waited for this all my life. I had longed for this day since I was a girl.

I prepared for months and months to get ready for this baby.

I wasn’t ready when he was finally born 9 days late. No amount of books or research could have prepared me. What happened when he was born was powerful. The amount of love that that filled my heart and every fiber in my body the minute I saw his little face was overwhelming. He was perfect. He was the apple of my eye and I gave him all of me for 4.5 years.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I faced similar fears. I worried. How could another child possibly match up to him? How could I love two children the same?

I have four children now and I know this to be true:

Each time a new child comes into the family, the prism turns and shines it’s light on a whole new kind of love that you don’t know yet exists. The shades of love are infinite. Such is the light of a mother’s love. It is ever growing and endless.

Once another baby grows inside you and as you watch your bump grow, you will feel your heart grow, too.

The love you have for your second child, or any subsequent children, won’t be the same as the love you have now for your first-born. It will be a different shade of beautiful infinite love and all it takes will be meeting them for the first time.

Trust me on this one!

From the mum who loves all her four children in a different shade of love.

I am on Facebook.



Published on HuffPostUkParents

11 thoughts on “How to love another baby

  1. That is beautiful and so profound! I had my own fears around this very thing when I had spent the first five years of my oldest son’s life with just him then his brother was born. I was so afraid I wouldn’t be able to love another child as much as I loved him but when my youngest was born, you are right, it’s a different shade of love but equal all the same. Thank you for sharing this and I hope other mothers who are contemplating having a second child that they read this! This would have surely eased my mind:)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is beautiful 🙂 I can see why it would be worrying. When you love a child more than you ever thought possible, it just doesn’t seem possible that you could do that again
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂


  3. Aaah, this is really, really beautiful… I can remember having dinner with my best friend, while pregnant with my second, and saying ‘what if I don’t love this one the same? What if I don’t have enough love in my heart for 2??’ But actually, when he was born, I found it a little easier-with my first, I had terrible bonding issues, and it took a while to build that bond. But I felt it instantly with the second, and he’s actually such a mummy’s boy (compared to the very much daddy’s boy eldest,) that it’s made our relationship really special. Such a poignant post for anyone expecting a second baby. Xx


  4. Aww what a lovely post and one which I can relate to as I’ve just had my second child. I was worried about how it would all work and wondered if we had done the right thing. 7 weeks in it’s like he’s always been here and I seem to have even more love for them both. Thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again this week X


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