Putting Baby to Sleep Like a Pro in 10 Easy Steps

What would you do to put your baby to sleep?

Would you do anything?

And I phrase this like a question. Hah. Like we have a choice. When you have been up since stupid o’clock, it’s been the longest day ever (Come on, who snuck the extra hours into the day? Well? Hands up!) and you just can’t wait to sit down, put your feet up and have an hour to yourself after a long and busy day, correct, my friends, you would do anything to put your baby to sleep.

Amiright?

Bedtime can be stressful.

Been there, done, that, bought the T-shirt. I was never a big fan of making bedtime a stressful time for us as parents or for the babies. I always wanted to make sure that my children had positive associations with bedtime and that they fall asleep feeling happy, safe and loved as opposed to upset and stressed. I tried the “crying it out” approach with my first child and every so often in a while with the other three. We failed miserably. Sometimes I got the notion that I needed to be more textbook in my parenting style and that they need to fall asleep by themselves and self settle and all this “self” stuff. But as a Mama warrior you gotta do what you gotta do and sometimes it means going that extra mile for the little ones. (Find how how to worry less about your children’s sleep here! )IMG_2755

After nearly 10 years of parenting and 4 babies, who all came with their own special bedtime manual, I have loads of expertise *smug face*. I am rarely wise, so pay attention. For your pleasure, I have put together a little selection of scenarios you can expect when putting babies to sleep.

  1. You will rock your baby long enough until they doze off and not dare breathe or move until you are 100% certain that putting the baby down won’t wake them. Count to 4350 or so. This works 3 times out of 10. If baby wakes, repeat.
  2. You will hold them, rock them, let them grab your face, ears, hair, head-butt you until they finally exhaustedly put their head down on your chest and fall asleep.
  3. You will stand crouched over the cot and rub baby’s head, hand or [insert baby’s preference] until you are unable to move because your pelvis has just slipped up ever so slightly. #childbirthveteran
  4. Alternatively, you will sit next to the cot, with your hand between the bars, rubbing [insert body part of choice] and upon baby falling asleep try to figure out how the *bleep* you are going to un-wedge your forearm from between the cot bars without stirring the little creature.
  5. You will sit in the dark with the brightness of the display of your phone turned all the way down and squinty-eyed try to catch up on Facebook and email while waiting for baby to fall asleep. When you finally look up, you will see the little face staring right back at you.
  6. While anxiously waiting for baby to fall asleep you will experience a number of near heart attacks and freeze the minute baby twitches, squirms, fidgets or farts. MUST NOT BREATHE, MOVE, or MAKE ANY KIND OF NOISE.
  7. You will lie down in the most awkward position and every so often nod off yourself during the wait only to wake up 45 minutes later and stumble back to the living room bushy-haired, squinty-eyed, jaded and just generally crabby. You will be great fun to be around then. Where’s the party at!
  8. Once baby has nodded off you will realize that the kneeling on the floor in that awkward position has cut off the blood supply to your legs and you now have no choice but to commando-crawl out of the room. True story!
  9. As you do that you realize that every, and I mean EVERY, floor board squeaks very loudly.
  10. And just before you leave, you will shine the light of your phone into their cot to get a little glimpse of that cute little face and think how much you love them, and you kinda miss them already. You whisper “See you in the morning light” (in your head, my friend! Never NEVER actually whisper!)

 

How do you put your baby to sleep?

Want to parent like a Pro too? Pop over this this! 

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32 thoughts on “Putting Baby to Sleep Like a Pro in 10 Easy Steps

  1. This is so true! We were feeding our little one to sleep, this has stopped (thank god!) and now we have moved to the pat, pat method with arms between the cot bars, so I am with you on Point 4. The other thing that I do is literally crawl out of the room, as my creaky knees have woken her up in the past. Great post. Claire x #abitofeverything

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well this is amazing. I was literally just saying to my hubby how pretty much all the blogs I come across are by mums of very little kids no older than 4 if that. There are some fabulously talented bloggers out there, many of whom have become my friends but a lot of what they cover is long behind me as mine are no longer babies. Sometimes I just long for a blog by someone who’s been at this parenting shizzle for as long as me. And then ALONG YOU CAME on the #abitofeverything linky! And yes. Been there. Done that. Got the tshirt 3 fricking times with all the above sleeping ‘strategies’! Loved this post. Shall be revisiting your blog for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think I have not had as much arm exercises as I did when putting my children to bed, patting, patting, and lots of that! I think a lot of times, I just fell asleep before they did! Lovely post – did bring back memories of a long time ago when my three were young and how much they needed me then. Now I just yell like a crazy woman and they all go to bed, with their phones under the blanket,and go on Facebook. Oh how the tables have turned! Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ha ha, especially to number 5. Not just me that does this then…. I have 3.5 year olds and bedtime continues to be a nightmare. I keep reminding myself that in a few years I will be shouting at them to get out of bed.. I just can’t imagine that now though. love this post 🙂 #abitofeverything x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh yes, I remember getting my arm wedged between the cot bars!!
    My youngest loved to have his nose stroked (weirdo) to get to sleep.
    Thanks for sharing with us, Tracey xx#happydiaries

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is such a great post Hun and certainly appeals to the thousands of knackered parents out there who have definitely tried most if not all of these. I remember moving the chair closer and closer to the door fondly (not). TY for linking up with #FamilyFun 🌸

    Like

  7. I go for ‘pin down’. I cuddle my daughter acting like a swaddle, keeping all limbs in the right place. She wriggles and protests and finally sleeps. I then transfer her to her cot without waking her. Or that’s the plan, more often I end up putting her in her cot and the running through pretty much all of the steps above. The best piece of baby sleep advice I ever got? ‘Don’t check in to see if your baby is sleeping. It was.’

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  8. My 2 months old is a lot easier to put to sleep than my 21 months old. With my older, I lye down in the dark, hugging her with one arm and reading on my phone until she is asleep. And then its sleep time for me too.

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  9. Hahahaha, this is brilliant! Every one spot on! That feeling of dismay when you reach the door dragging your dead leg behind you and they start wailing again is indescribable!! Thanks ever so much for linking up with the first ever #bigpinklink and I can’t wait to read more of your posts!!

    Like

  10. The squeaky floorboards are the bane of my existence. Our toddler doesn’t have too much trouble getting off to sleep, but then we have to hop, skip and jump over all the known noisy treads in order to get to our own bed later on. Funny post, thanks for sharing you 10 years of bedtime wisdom with us 🙂

    Like

  11. Child number one was always happy to go down. She’d go into bed and happily play until weariness took hold of her and she would drift off.

    Child number two… Well it goes like this:

    1) Throw in cot 2) Run away 3) Wait 1-3 minutes for screaming to subside.

    We have tried 1-10 and none of the buggers worked!

    Thanks for linking to #chucklemums

    Like

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