So, blogging, eh?
Seems to be the latest thing.
Very fancy! La dee daa……
There are so many fantastic blogs out there that I have discovered recently. So many wonderful women and men with wonderful stories and anecdotes they have the courage to share. I myself enjoy reading blogs and after giving it some thought, I decided I’m doing it. I have made my mind up, and anyone who knows me knows that once I have my mind made up… It’s made up… It’s done. I am going to give it a shot, this blogging malarkey. Here goes…..
Welcome to my blog. Thanks for stopping by.
There is a million things off the top off my head that I want to chat about, rant about, laugh about and ponder. Oh God, where to start….How do you start….I’ll probably end up ranting mostly, but sure, what harm. When you are at home a lot by yourself with a bunch of kids trying to rob you of your sanity, you need an outlet and perhaps this is going to become mine.
Right, so….I am a young (this is totally subjective by the way) mother of 4 children. They range from 10 months to 9 years in age. Precisely, they are 9 yrs, 4 yrs, 3 yrs and 10 months. So it’s a full time job, as you can imagine. In fact, it’s MY full time job….. It still sounds strange when I say it like that. Here’s the thing. It wasn’t always my full time job. I used to have a “real” job….. and this smoothly brings me to the topic of my first ever blog. (drumroll!)
So, I recently handed in my notice.
I gave up my job.
I quit work.
(I need to spell it out as sometimes it seems it hasn’t hit home yet.)
I was working for a multinational for 11 years. I had a good job. A job which I loved…. (most of the time at least). I liked getting dressed up, going out to work, having important meetings, earning my own money, chatting to people at work. Our family grew from 3 to 6 in the last 5 years. In other words, I had 3 babies in 5 years. And with 4 young children in the family now, it took some serious consideration about staying in full-time employment. Would it still be worth my while going out to work every day? Would it be fair to the kids having two working parents? Would it make financial sense? I would never see them, would I? Would I be able to be the best mother that I can be trying to juggle full time employment, commuting, and my 4 children on top of managing a household and everything that comes with that? Would I be happy having someone else effectively raising them for me while I go out to work? I asked myself all of those questions. Myself and my himself talked it over many times over the last few years. Again and again. My husband and I knew that eventually I would be staying at home. He has always been very supportive of the idea recognizing the pressure it would take off everyone and that it would be what’s best for our children right now. Being perfectly honest, I always struggled with the idea, with the concept of staying at home. In theory, obviously, it’s a no-brainer. But is it for me? Am I a stay at home kind of woman? I was in a constant struggle with myself. The thought of not having a job gave me a tight feeling in my stomach. It made me antsy and uncomfortable. Being financially independent was a big deal for me. Being able to buy my own stuff, whatever stuff I wanted, was a big deal for me. Being something other than “just” a mum. I always took great pride in telling people the company I worked for. It made me feel important. Surely it would drive me demented being at home with the kids aaaaaaaaall day long. I felt a bit selfish and guilty for thinking that way, too. Imagining all my independence and the one part of my life where I wasn’t ‘Mama’ would be gone made me doubtful, panicky, anxious. For a number of reasons. One of them was that I felt that I would be, (and this may sound totally absurd) …..less. A lesser person, less interesting, less successful, less popular, with less purpose, less financially self-sufficient, less attractive, with less to talk about. Just less. And I temporarily lost a little bit of me and my identity, I think, the day I sent my resignation email. I am probably my own worst enemy. I feel there is still a stigma out there that women who stay at home are
1) a little lazy and couldn’t be bothered going out to earn an honest living, that they are taking the easy way out, clearly, or
2) that they walk around the city with their Brown Thomas shopping bags sipping on their Starbucks coffees.
Far from reality. Having been at home on maternity leave with my children and on extended parental leave, I know very well how hard this job is. (A topic for another blog perhaps) My utmost respect goes out to all you mums who do what I would consider to be the hardest job there is. In the decision making process my heart said one thing and my head another. I knew in my heart that staying at home with my kids is the right thing to do. Eventually I was ready. Ready to take the step into full-time motherhood and it was a bit like someone lifted a weight off my shoulders. So here I am.
I am now a stay-at-home mum. (practicing to say this with pride and like I own it!) Working in the home. A mum of four beautiful children. Every day comes with challenges. Every day is in some shape or form a struggle. Make no mistake about it. However, I am in the process of creating a new identity for myself without stigma and prejudice. Without needing a corporate job title to feel validated. One where being responsible for managing a family, running a household as well as the whole family business and caring for 4 little human beings doesn’t make me less anything. Because being a mum is only part of who I am.
I am the queen of my castle.
And for those of you, who can identify with any of this, remember:
“You is kind, you is smart, you is important.”
Phew. (This was mostly a pep talk to myself.)
Now, Sunshine. Lets do this! All those Starbucks coffees aren’t going to drink themselves.
2016, Let’s be having ya!